Circa 2012: #Motivation

Today is probably one of the saddest days in my life and one of the happiest at the same time.

Today is my daughter's first birthday.

I cried for so long today because I never pictured it to be this way. You would think that something so special would bring everyone together but instead it tears everything apart.

Note to self and others: If you're faced with an issue, don't assume that person is the problem. Look at yourself first and see if you are a contributing factor.

Through the sadness however, Samurai and I were still able to have a great day. We ignored the negatives and gave our daughter the love, joy and happiness she deserves. We are still adjusting to having this little person invade every ounce of our time, privacy and freedom, but we wouldn't have it any other way.

What also turned today from sad to happy is that it definitely was the motivation to get started with this house. It was like the whip on the horse's ass to start planning and scheduling getting it off the ground.

That night we sat on the bed going over all the little details and corrections to the initial plan done by the draughtsman. We went over our budget again thanks to this ridiculously expensive daycare and made a rough timeline. We just wanted our own home.

By the end of that night we finalised our plans and was ready to have the draughtsman do the final version for submission to Town and Country, however, the issue with the retaining walls is what we really had to address. We decided that we could probably pay for this from our savings and take the construction loan from TTMF for everything else.

The draughtsman was also a contractor, so we decided to ask him to quote us on the cost for the foundation alone with this retaining wall issue so that depending on the cost, we will know if we can just build the entire shell of the house (no fixtures, furniture or furnishings except for the Master, our daughter's room and one bathroom) or if we will have to just do the upper floor and eventually build downstairs in the future.

When we contacted the draughtsman, he said he will need to go view the land again for the quote. In the meantime, Samurai called up a random company who met us that weekend to quote us on the retaining wall. His quote: $100,000.00

I just felt like throwing in the towel. We couldn't pay for the foundation AND this retaining wall. It was just too much. This meant we had to go back once again to the drawing board and reduce the size of the house. I probably should just take my mother's advice and build a small pool house, with a pool and live on the floor.

We waited and waited on the second quote from the draughtsman but clearly he was busy as he kept pushing back the date he'll have it ready by. Some good few weeks later, he sent an e-mail with the amount... $280,000.00 for the foundation and retaining wall.

Someone. Get me a tent. I give up